If the people you want to be connected with do not actively network, how does one connect to them?  I love this question by a dear friend, Patrice Oster of National Realty Network.  The way Patrice and I met is a great story, so please indulge me for a moment.  Patrice has a daughter, Lana.  Lana and my youngest son, Daveed were dating their freshman year at New Trier.  After 6 months of dating, Patrice called me to say we should meet with the kids and go to dinner.  Who am I to say no to a meal!We all went to dinner at Outback in Skokie, and I found out that Patrice was a Commercial Real Estate agent.  I had just started a NAWBO lead’s group in Northbrook, so I told her about networking through NAWBO.  She joined the group and we have been friends since.  That was 4 years ago, our children broke up Sophmore year, dated Junior year, and are now friends.  Patrice and my friendship has been strong since their freshman year.  Therefore, as I have said many times, networking and building relationships can happen anywhere.  Great story, huh?

Now, back to Patrice’s question.  Many people do not network in the “usual” places, but EVERYONE knows people.  There are several things that must be done to reach that market that does not network:

• First and foremost, YOU MUST BE A GIVER OF QUALITY REFERRALS!  The other tips will not work if you are a taker and not a giver.
• Be sure you know exactly who you want to meet.  Write down who they are, what they do, their position in a company.  Brainstorm where you think they congregate and meet people. 
• Be sure you are stating your needs clearly to everyone you meet.  If you attend networking events, tell people exactly who you want to meet.  Be as specific as possible.  If you have a name, say the name.
• Ask for help from your referral network.  If you have been a giver of leads, they should all be willing to make introductions for you.  If they do not have a connection, everyone is separated by no more than 3 or 4 degrees.  People you have helped will be anxious to pay you back for your help by helping you.
• Network outside of your box.  Attend events where the degrees of separation are less and start making connections with new groups of people.
• Continue to be a giver.  The more you give, the more the “Law of Attraction” will give back.  It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will occur.

I hope that helps.

By the way, Patrice is the woman in the picture, and my oldest son Avi Mor, an architectural, commercial, theatrical and residential lighting designer is the good looking young man next to Patrice.