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As a woman business owner, I spend my lunch hours usually networking with someone in my A list, or someone I want to get to know better.  Is it for business?  Well, every encounter could lead to business, but that is not why I get together with people.  I spend my lunch hour with people to find out more about what makes them happy.  What type of people they like to work with, or don’t like to work with.  What are their goals and ambitions, so that I may be able to help them.  My primary goal is to help them, not to get business.  If business comes, all the better.

How do you spend your lunch hour?

Take a dentist.  If you have a patient that comes into your practice - what is the lifetime value of having only ONE patient stay with your practice for a minimum of 20 years.  Well, let’s say they only get 2 professional cleanings per year.  On the average, let’s say that is $100 x 2 per year, which makes it $4000 over the span of 20 years.  That does not include x-rays, restorations, whitening, more frequent cleanings due to age…. the possibilities are endless.  So again I ask you, what is the lifetime value of a current customer?  If you don’t know, figure it out.

Now, is there a need for networking and making connections in the retail market?  You bet.

Imagine a world where we all work on a referral basis.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to refer someone in your category because you are too busy and cannot handle all the business that is given to you?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you made a difference in everyone’s life that you touch by making introductions to people that could use each others services?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if your database of referrals were always at the forefront of your mind and everyday you referred someone from that database?  Wouldn’t it be wonderful if YOU were the “go-to” person for everyone’s referral needs?

It starts with a smile, a handshake and the deep desire to get to know someone.  Can you make a difference today?

  Thank you to Jonathan Roob for taking this picture of Brian Moak at my showcase.  Brian made a big difference in my life by planting the seed in my mind, and continually supporting my efforts to become a professional speaker.  I will always be grateful to Brian for making a difference in my life.

One of the things we need to be aware of is burning bridges.  Not only burning bridges in our professional life, but also in our personal life.  There are several individuals I have had to “divorce” myself from in my business life.  Some of them I have reconnected with on another level, others I have not.  But the choice I made to continue or discontinue the business relationship with them was made on a conscious level and no one has been hurt.

I did not have a relationship with my sister Elisa for many years.  I carried around a lot of anger towards her and would not speak to her or have her in my life or my children’s lives.  Last year Elisa and I became close friends again.  It reminded me of the importance of sisters and family and those bridges should never be broken.

We all know many people that do not talk to a sibling, child or former spouse due to many issues within us.  Last night I posed this question to someone very dear to me:  “What is the worse case scenario that can happen if you make the first move and contact them?”  Usually the worse case scenario doesn’t happen, but if it does, you made the first move and you can find some peace within your own heart.  It then becomes their issue, not yours.

I challenge each of you to look at your relationships and see if some bridge mending needs to happen.  Think about the worse case scenario and accept it as reality if it happens, but try to mend those bridges. 

My sister and I are great friends now and I am happy that I made the move to forgive - not only her, but myself.

  Thank you to Jonathan Roob for this wonderful picture of my sister and I at the Showcase.

I am known as the Pay It Forward Business Relationship Expert.  That makes me proud.  I can walk into any business event and start communicating with strangers, slowly revealing information that will help them reach a goal or satisfy a problem.  Using the skills of listening and asking pertinent questions, business relationships are not difficult for me to start nor to retain.

Lately, people have asked me if I can help them with their personal relationships.  I always laugh it off with the joke, “having been married and divorced four times, you don’t want me giving you ANY personal relationship advice.”

Last week I had an epiphany.  I realized that my great relationship building skills were only strong in a business aspect.  My ability to ask questions and really listen were relegated to the business world only.  When it came time for me to switch gears and try a personal relationship - I failed.   I asked myself, “why is it that I know all the right things to say in business, but when it comes to my personal life I do not?”

Just as I have put into the universe my goal to be a healthy size 10 by June, 2008 (by the way I am half way there), I am putting something new into the universe.  I am working on my ability to communicate personally as well as professionally with everyone, especially in my one-on-one relationship in my personal life.  Old ghosts are being dealt with and baggage is being discarded.

Just as you will see a new me in June 2008, you will see me relaxed and at the top of my game in my personal life as the year goes on.  I am a great communicator in business.  Now I am going to be a great communicator in my personal life also.

  Thank you to Jonathan Roob of Jonathans Portraits for the wonderful pictures he took at the Showcase on Monday.

At O’Hare recently, I was dropping off my daughter for a business trip.  We were running a bit late - thanks to the traffic - and Aliza was getting nervous about missing her flight, or even worse, not having her luggage when she arrived in Dallas.  Her stress level was quite high.

The traffic “police” were there in full detail.  Whistles blowing - orange batons twirling - hands waving - angry faces everywhere.  Of course, traffic was at a standstill.  The top was down on the convertible that morning and I was watching one gentleman inparticular.  He was not a happy traffic controller.

“Isn’t it a beautiful day?”

“What are they giving away this morning?” - I start to see a little smile on his face.

“Life is grand.  I hope you have a great day today” - and I saw him smile with the whistle in his mouth.

Will I ever see this person again?  The chances are next to none, but he did have an impact on my life - I made him smile which means he gave me a gift.  Did I have an impact on his life?  Maybe.  Just maybe for that 30 seconds of banter he forgot about his problems to share a smile with me.  Maybe he then smiled at someone else - I will never know.

What little things are you doing in your life to make a difference in the lives of your friends, family, business associates, customers and prospects?  Just the action of a smile, or saying hello could open the door to a new adventure.

I challenge you to make a difference in someone’s life today with a small gesture that is priceless.  Smile at a stranger.  It will come back to you - that is what boomerang networking is all about.

The skill of connecting with people on a deep level is not something that I can turn on and off.  I do not have business relationships that are separate from personal relationships.  There is so much intertwining of those two aspects of my life that there is no clear line of distinction. 

In my life, relationship networking is like a ball of string - if you ever watched Quantum Leap you will understand this.  Although a long piece of string only has two ends, once you ball it up, that string is connected to itself in several areas.  Each contact is different, but they are all on the same string.  Now add another string.

Each string is a lifeline.  There is a beginning and an end.  My life is touching several other’s lives, by contacting their string in different areas.  I dig deep by asking questions to find the gem that is the soul of each of my referrals.  It is MY challenge to find something unique about each person I meet and make at least ONE introduction to someone each time I meet with them.  This is my give.

I only refer my friends.  I only refer quality business professionals.  There is no distinction.  I am blessed to have as many quality business relationships as I do. 

On the start of Yom Kippur, it is a time to reflect back on the year and hope that this coming year will be a blessed one.  I thank all the friends I have in my life - old and NEW.  I am truly blessed.

Yesterday was an incredible day for me.  It started with a visit to a NAWBO-Chicago leads group that I started with a friend, Chris almost 3 years ago.  Many of the people in the group are there because I brought them in.  I do business with them and refer them.  I have touched their lives and they have touched mine.

I then met with Leslie.  Leslie touches the lives of many people that do NOT want or think they need her help.  Day after day she must help people and hopefully make an impact on their lives although they do not appreciate her service.  As we were talking, I thought of someone else who is in her field and I made an introduction to Cass.  These two dynamic people will touch each others lives.

    Last night I met with Mike Halbach.  In case you don’t remember who Mike is, several weeks ago I wrote a blog entry in regard to my dad, my children and I going up in a B-24 Bomber from WWII when it was in Chicago.  Michael read my blog and he contacted me saying that his dad, John was the pilot.  Michael and I had dinner last night and he shared with me pictures of our fathers, and memorabelia that he has collected over the years.  But most importantly, he shared memories that his dad had of the war.

My dad has always been quiet about the war.  He never shared with us the stories.  Last night I got to hear about a period in my dad’s life that I didn’t know about.  One of the most interesting stories was when the group was ordered out of Italy on a mission, apparently a Sergeant did not cover the gas tank on the B-24 before it took off, and John had to make a determination to turn back to base instead of staying with all the others.  As the pilot, John made the decision and took the consequences of a verbal lashing from the Commanding Officer on base.

But this one man, John Halbach, turned the plane around and saved my dad and his crew while the other planes on the mission were all shot down.  One man made a decision that has had an impact on many lives for many years.

Whether it is touching lives by bringing people together, or making a tough decision to saves lives, or as Larry did yesterday, offering to help someone by listening to them and making introductions, or smiling at a total stranger just because —- it always starts with one.

Are you making a difference in the world?

As we stated before, networking groups usually have no limit to the number of people representing a certain category.  For example, you could have 5 real estate agents, 3 banks, 4 mortgage brokers, 3 insurance angents, etc….

In a leads group, you would only have one person representing a category.  For example, you would have only 1 real estate agent, 1 bank, 1 morgage broker, 1 insurance agent.

Networking groups:  You meet more people, and when you really get to know each person in a category you can determine which person would be the best fit for your referral.  An example would be if there were several architects in the group, and my referral was a difficult client.  I would refer the client to the architect that enjoys working with difficult clients.  The networking group gives you an option of people to choose from and get to know.  It expands YOUR network if you get to know everyone because each of them knows approximately 250 people - but then again - you MUST work at getting to know them.

Leads groups:  It is the purpose of the group to send all their leads for your category to YOU and not someone else.  YOU are the banker, or YOU are the mortgage person.  All leads from the group for banking or mortgage are suppose to go to you.

What are some of your opinions on networking vs leads groups?